My 2 cents …
I’m proud of you for addressing this head on and seeking out advice. We subby types are resistant to reach out and ask.
Sounds like a nasty case of sub drop to me. But I also have concerns that you are risk of heading into depression if you are unable to get a hold of it.
My first suggestion, as always, is to keep your Master informed as to your feelings, condition, etc.
Your brain and body were on chemical overload with 5 weeks of the intensity of the connection and experience with your Master. Your brain got to expect all those yummy chemicals, especially the love hormone, oxytocin. And now suddenly, that’s been pulled away from you. Your brain has gone into a rebound, like suddenly kicking a drug. With a little extra help, it should kick back into gear.
Let’s make sure you’re on your nutrition. Stay away from high processed, sweet comfort foods for now. Focus on whole foods and lean protein. Get as much natural light as you can everyday.
Now let’s get you back to your routine. If possible, ask your Master to record (at least audio) of Himself giving you commands for the most important functions/protocols. Play them. Over and over if you need to. Your slave heart will feel the pull to obey his spoken command. Also setup immediate follow through check-ins to up your accountability as well as getting to feel that subby pride for having done it. Try taking pics of your food for meal reporting and text before eating. Use your phone for location checkins too. (Whatsapp has a location feature, simply tap it and it sends it)
Now I’m going to tell you the hard truth ….
You need, in my opinion, to do it whether you’re struggling or not. It won’t “feel” right for a little while. But doing your protocols is NECESSARY to get those “feelings” back in line. And if in another two weeks, you’re in the exact same place, or worse, you get your subby butt into a doctor (kink aware if you can) and get evaluated for depression. Part of our responsibilities to our owner is to keep their property in good working condition. That includes mental health. Brains get goofy sometimes. Sudden and severe subdrop leaves a brain in a fragile condition. Sometimes our brains need medical help.
Now that you know you’re vulnerable to severe subdrop, put your head together with your Master and work on prevention and a plan for next time.
And keep asking for help! Thank you for tagging me and including me in such an esteemed list. I hope I’ve been able to be of service. (((HUGS)))
